My Beautiful and Amazing Daughter and Our Journey #TalkingWithoutWords #Kodabug

In September of 2013, I went to the hospital in severe pain. I didn't know what was wrong, but I felt like I was birthing a watermelon. The only thing that had happened, was I pulled a muscle in my abs from doing too many jumping jacks. We didn't know what was going on, except that I had to go to the emergency room. My husband stayed with Tbomb and we got my in-laws to take me up. My mother-in-law was very supportive and held my hand the whole time. 

After some examinations, an ultrasound, and pelvic exam, the doctor informs me that I had kidney stones, a hernia, and fibroid tumors. They get me set up with an MRI, bring me the stuff to drink, and give me demurral for the kidney stones. I'm drinking the MRI stuff and the doctor pokes his head in the door and tells me that I'm pregnant and don't need to drink that stuff. I'm blown away and my MIL and I jut stare at each other for what seems like forever. After some time, my mom and dad come up and the nurse informs me that I'm having a miscarriage and that is why I'm in so much pain. After being at the hospital for 6 hours, I'm finally sent back for an ultrasound. My paper work says that I'm 5 weeks. The ultrasound shows that I'm about 37 weeks, in active labor, and the baby is breech.

My in-laws run and get my husband, his grandparents meet them to watch Tbomb so my husband can be with me. After a cesarean, we have a beautiful baby girl.

She was a normal baby, but hardly cried. She did almost everything ahead of schedule, even rolled over at less than a month old. She fed herself early, took herself off the bottle at 5 months, and was amazing. Looking back though, she never babbled, very rarely cried, and was generally a quiet baby. She crawled early, never scooted, and it took her a while to walk. She is pigeon-toed, so when she finally started, she took off. 

Fast forward to now. Dakota will be 3 in September. She doesn't talk. We do not know why, and are waiting for developmental testing. She has had a hearing test, and has some trouble with some pitches, but not enough for it to cause trouble talking. She has said a few words once, but leaves the consonant off, but she won't say it again after the initial discovery of the word.

That being said, my Kodabug is an amazing little girl. She is so very smart. She is good at learning sign language (she can do about 20 on her own), and is getting better at using it without being told. She can show you numbers on her fingers, point to letters, and is a great problem solver. She in independent and loves puzzles. I have noticed some behaviors that are parallel to Autism, but that doesn't mean that she is Autistic. I just want answers so I can learn how to help her. Since we homeschool, I'm going to have to have some kind of training. We do try different things with her, and I will be sharing those things.  I even plan on sharing a good many sign language resources. If she just didn't want to talk, why would she use sign language.

Not a lot of people know about Dakota because I get tired of hearing "make her talk" and "that happens when people don't work with their children." I'm putting it out there now and I'm asking you not to be mean or insensitive in the comments. This is a struggle and I want to share in case any of you are having a hard time with something too.

If you are going through anything similar, please feel free to contact me and maybe we can have a support group. If you are interested in a Facebook group, comment and I'll see about getting one started. It doesn't have to be related to talking, just any struggle with your child.

In the mean time, this song gets me through the days, maybe it will help you too.


  1. All I can say to you Cari after reading this with tears streaming down my cheeks is "what an awesome Mom you are!" Koda bug was born with a purpose all her own as ordained by God. He knew you, Chris, Melissa, and Marty were the ones to entrust her to. She, like all our kids, are on loan to us. They really belong to God. He is guiding you in the role he needs you to play in her life and you are seeking ways to understand how to go about that.

    My sweet Cari, you are following your heart and this blog was your first step of opening windows and doors of understanding for yourself and others with needs of their own to help their children.

    She is perfectly made by God himself. You are her advocate, her voice until
    she finds her own whether it be verbal or sign. Any remarks that negatively affect her or you are inappropriate at best, unkind, insensitive, and just plain ignorant at worse.

    Toxic people who say those things to you or about you and/or Dakota should be removed from your friend and family list...until they can become positive influences in your lives.

    I am so proud of you! You can do this! You are not alone! There are so many in the same place as you are now who are at a loss and being told by well-meaning family and friends what they are doing wrong.

    Just remember.... a mother's gut feeling is
    never wrong.

    Love you and that little girl!

  2. You literally made me cry. I have asked so many times why God thought I was good enough for that little girl (and little boy), but I know that God does not make mistakes- so, for some reason, he deemed me good enough and I'm going to do the best I can. I've been trying to protect my family from harsh words, but I also do not want her to be ashamed, so it is time to embrace it. I love her and she is exactly the way God intended her to be and absolutely amazing. Thank you for your support and we all love you so very much as well.