31 Years Of Being A Southern Lady: 5 Pieces Of Advice

I will be turning 31 next Friday. When I turned 30, it got me really down. The main reason was that I realized that I would already be 40 when Kodabug turns 10. Turning 31 hasn't sent the same panic through me. Instead, I feel rejuvenated and I've really been contemplating things.

I've really been thinking about all the things I've learned in my 31 years of being raised all over the southern states. My mother being raised in the Air Force made a huge impact on the way I was raised as well. I realized that I've learned some valuable lessons in my life and maybe I should take this time to pass some of my realizations along. This shirt explains my feelings lately!

A photo posted by cari (@cari_on) on

1. Be Happy

I know that you are thinking that's easier said than done, but it really isn't. One of the most valuable lessons I've learned is that happiness is a choice. Yes, we all have bad days- but you can be a generally happy person just by choosing to be that way. Be happy with what you have and with the people you have in your life. 

2. Stop Worrying

This is something I struggle with more than anything. I like to be in control and when things are out of my control, I worry. I've learned though that I have to give it to God. Worrying does no good. I pray about it, pray for a plan and get to work. In the grand scheme of things, that's all we really can do. Hiding under the covers and stressing does no good. 

3. Use Your Manners

I cannot tell you how many times I have been told to not call someone "ma'am". Many times, this would make me feel guilty. I had to realize something about myself and my upbringing. Using etiquette, southern charm, and certain terms is part of who I am. To me, the terms "ma'am" and "sir" are said out of respect. I have even been put down for using manners and simple etiquette. 

To me, when someone tells you that you shouldn't be using the manners that you were raised with, they are insecure with their behavior, but they are not willing to change. I use my manners and southern charm while holding my head high. I expect the same out of my children and know they will be better adults because of it. 

4. Love Yourself and You Are A Better Mother and Wife

This was a hard realization for me. Since the Mr and I have gotten married, I've been through some times that really got me down. I would wonder how in the world I could be a decent mother to my children, I've wondered if I was good enough, and I've wondered why he married me to begin with. It took a stern talking to from my husband to realize that I was hurting my children and him by thinking this way. 

I had to realize that he married me for whatever reason he did and that it was the plan God had in mind. I also had to realize that those to special and beautiful children were put in my care because I am the one that is supposed to mother them. There is a reason for it all and God knows what he was doing. Basically, I had to trust God and let him teach me to love myself and realize that I am worthy so that I caould be the best mother and wife possible. 

5. Our Fears Go Deeper Than We Think

Besides the obvious fear of spiders, my two biggest fears are of failure and of thunderstorms. It took me quite a while to realize the true reasons for both of these. My fear of failure stems from my deeper fear of disappointing those that I love. I realized that those that really love me are never truly disappointed in me, maybe my actions, but not me. I have had to adopt the "those that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter" mindset when it comes to this.

My fear of thunderstorms is a true fear of that type of weather, but it also has deeper roots. I cannot stand to be in control and I do not like change. Thunderstorms are almost a symbol of change for me. Every time something traumatic or life-altering happens in my life, there is a thunderstorm. Even with good things. Our last pit bull died today and it is storming. On another note, the night I realized that the man I love would one day become my Mr, it stormed.

The point is to think about your fears and what they could mean deeper than just the fear- you may just learn a lot about yourself.

5 Pieces Of Advice

I wrote this post to you all with several things in mind. One, it is something that has been on my mind to share, and there is an up and coming project that needs our support because changing lives is what it's all about. 

5 Pieces of Advice- Uplifting Humanity, One Story At A time is a project now on Kickstarter to create a project that will definitely change lives. This project will come in the form of books, films, and even an online platform. The advice and stories shared will cover a variety of topics from business, health, relationships, and even parenting. 

The aim is to help others live the best life possible that is enriched with advice that the individual may not have the chance to hear otherwise. This project started with Pawel opening his ears and heart to take the advice of a stranger- how amazing is that. If you want to help other's lives be better, happier, and more fullfiling, head on over to Kickstarter and see how you can help. 

No comments :

Post a Comment